A Gift of Love Penny is old. Her eyes have a blue haze. Her hearing is selective; she can hear the kitchen cabinets open for her evening meal, but little else. Her gait is slow, and I have to pick her up for the stairs. She dozes the days away. Many times she can’t make it outside, and incontinence is a problem. But she is still responsive, still beautiful, and still a very vital member of our family.
I find it hard to believe that she is 14 years old. Where has the time gone? She is my husband’s and my first dog. Many of our marriage milestones include her, and so I must face the fact that we have aged along with her. Penny was so vibrant for so long that I put off thinking about the inevitable. But I must think about it now.
I counsel many people about euthanasia. When do we know the time is right to put our beloved pet to sleep? I hate the question “what would you do?” – not because I can’t or don’t want to answer. Rather, because the question hits me squarely in the heart due to Penny.
Along with many of my own clients and their pets, I ponder the question “WHEN?” Penny is now teaching me that old age and the contemplation of euthanasia can be a rich, tender interlude. We focus on the present. We cannot mourn for what she has lost nor dread what she will become. The outcome is inevitable, but for now, time is on our side. Our family learns to live with her shortcomings.
Accommodating to Penny’s changing needs began when I noticed that she was becoming deaf. I devised signals for the common commands – “come, go, sit”. Without realizing it, I began to touch and rub her more. Ahh! The power of a hug!
The battle of incontinence came next. Medications help. Diet changes also lessen the mistakes, as well as prolonging the life of her kidneys. Feeding her in the morning and taking away her water late at night helps, too. If the weather is good, she stays outdoors alot. The greatest problem is that her hind legs don’t work well anymore. I am thankful we live in a one-story house. However, she has trouble backing up, getting up and down, and even walking at times. Bathing has become a chore because she is unable to stand for long, and falls when she shakes herself. Washable area rugs cover previous bare floors, and a thick foam bed is carried from room to room for her. Bath time is messy – mostly patio baths and more frequent brushings.
I know full well the interlude will end soon. Until then, I will continue to make compromises, lose sleep, and change my routines to accommodate her. It is the least I can do to return her 14-year friendship.
And so, the question remains: “WHEN?” I need only to look at Penny for her signal. For now, she is content to nap in the sun, eat a special treat, and stretch contentedly after a scratch while we wait.
If that is enough for her, then it is enough for me.
(Penny was put to sleep on February 18, 1993 – I still miss her, along with my second Irish Terrier, Kelsey)
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